Daily Winehouse, etc.

Okay, first off, STILL loving the Winehouse -- latest is that the singer and the chav are on vacay. Unlike the little jaunt to fantasy rehab island, however, this trip doesn't require them to be clean.

Which, apparently, isn't going over so well with the chav's parents, who went on BBC to encourage people to boycott AW's albums in order to choke off their supply of drugs.

This approach seems a little ass backwards to me -- kinda like, I don't know, Leo DiCaprio buying carbon offsets to keep his private jet from contributing to global warming. Fucking stupid and all for show.

Anyhow. I did catch Sid and Nancy this weekend on cable. I know everyone is saying that AW and the Chav are parallel to Sid and Nance, but I gotta say that Winehouse would NOT be caught dead in the Chealsea Hotel.

That place is such a dive.

Though I have Never Listened To Her Music

I think I'm becoming obsessed with Amy Winehouse.

She looks like a suicide girl, which is a plus, and she's got a freaky-lookin' hubby, which is fascinating, and then there's the ANTICS, people!

Excellent stuff today:

Amy told Perez: "Blake is the best man in the world. We would never ever harm each other... I was cutting myself after he found me in our room about to do drugs with a call girl and rightly said I wasn't good enough for him. I lost it and he saved my life."

So, right -- one graph, and we've got self mutilation, prostitution, and drugs. In a TEXT MESSAGE. To PEREZ HILTON.

Meanwhile, she's walking all around clutching photos of her wedding.

I know all this is super sad, but it's just so very fascinating.

WAH! I wanna go to rehab.

So, I guess Amy Winehouse is now checked into some kinda fabulous island retreat/rehab center.

I mean, I guess she did have to get all strung out on heroin or, like, meth, or whatever it is that she and her chav hubby get all up in their veins on the weekends (and weekdays, I suppose).

(Do you even have weekends when you're a rock star junkie?)

But seriously, now she gets to go and escape it all at her sweet island retreat, where her days are filled with navel-gazing therapeutic pursuits, someone else cooking health foods for her, and a chance to concentrate on her ART.

That sounds totes divine.

UPDATE: Guess that this idyllic rehab thing = not working out for AW.

Sources said Mitch threatened to “crucify” Blake after he confessed that Amy had collapsed from “speedballing” — inhaling or injecting a mix of crack cocaine and heroin at the same time.

The source added: “This should be about Amy getting help — but too often it’s all about Blake.

“He upset people in The Causeway with his behaviour. It was the same when she was in hospital. He really upset the staff and wasn’t very welcome there either.

Wow.

Isn't so cute how they spell "Behaviour?"

So Glad I'm Not An Only Child*

I called my sister last night.

Me: God, I've been so down, for, like, three days, and then on Monday I just started crying at my desk, and I was thinking, 'What the HELL is wrong with me??'
Che: And then you remembered it was August?
Me: YES!!
Che: Yeah.

Stupid August. I seriously fucking hate you, bitch-ass month.

*Sorry, Susan and Christine and Jonathan and all you other fabulous only children who I love, I'm sure you also have many reasons that it is awesome to be solo, I'm just sayin'. . .

Quick Link

Later on, I'm gonna post all about my deep hatred for the month of August. In the meantime, I'm gonna send you here:

Five things you might do with “all that ass”
June 21st, 2007

1. open a modest home ass business
2. serve hot meals of ass to the less fortunate
3. hold a weekend “Ass Sale” on your lawn
4. make colorful ass gift bags for the holidays
5. give sympathetic testimony for recovering hump drunks

Poor Jane Adams

It's modern day film semiotics.

Any time you see this woman:



You know it's gonna be a sad, creepy fucking movie.

She's like some kind of warning sign before you hit the roller coaster: Pregnant women or people with heart conditions should avoid this ride," because there's inevitably some kind of pedophile undertone.

She totally needs a new agent.

She Gives Sassy Heathens Everywhere A Good Name

Dear Ellen:

I AM SO EXCITED YOU AND YOUR GIRLS ARE COMING TO VISIT TOMORROW!

That's all.
RJ