Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Soaking In It

I've been surfing a wave of nostalgia lately, digging up old music and rolling around in it like a black lab in a pile of shit.

I'm surprised you can't smell it on me now.

In this edition, we're visiting high school -- where my boif Jason was busily giving me a full education on the history of new wave. I mean, I wasn't in high school in the early eighties, but that's where I was introduced to the twisted delights of Oingo Boingo.

Ah, Danny Elfman. Delighting children for generations with the theme from The Simpsons, the rollicking, original songs from The Nightmare Before Christmas -- and every Tim Burton film, for that matter.

And, kinda, every film and tv show in the last ten years.

oh, and this gem:

On the joys of molesting young girls. Isn't it a dream come true? Isn't it a nightmare too?

(PS: I had no idea until I googled this that there was A VIDEO with A CHORUS OF MIDGETS in existence. I fucking love the Internet.)


So, now has come the time for me to taper off my meds, something I have been terrified of doing now for years.

But, I gotta be a man, man.

Started on Saturday. Since it was a long weekend, its hard to say if I'm having any neurological symptoms yet, or if I've just been supes hungover.

Today the volume seems turned up on things, and I have a little buzzing, not unlike when you drink eight iced lattes on a hot afternoon and spend the rest of the day jolting out of your chair because WHAT WAS THAT OMG???

Fun times! Three days down. 27 to go.

What Happens At Hoover Dam

Gettin' Drilled

Monday, February 18, 2008


If you've met me, you probably have heard this phrase.

It's a bit of a riff on what I do for a living -- ie: be anal -- but it is also an astonishingly good and effective way to prioritize, plan, and accomplish most anything.

Plus, I have a perverse sense of humor and find this whole process hilarious. No one else gets as much kick as me out of the phrase "Leverage economies of scale," below. HA!

Jesus, no wonder I'm single.




Oh, yeah -- VEGAS! I almost forgot

But finally uploaded pictures. Thank you, President's Day!

Isn't my sister gorgeous? I can't stand it.


Alright, much to write up. I know you're waiting with baited breath to read about it.

PS: Sorry, Mike, but this is making me cackle out loud and I am alone in the privacy of my own home:

Saturday, February 16, 2008

The Astonishing Douchebaggery of Bobby Flay

Tivo, that bastard, is the reason I don't blog more.

I mean, it means I don't have to watch whatever is on -- so I never stare slack-jawed at the Food Network for hours at a time.

But today,Tivo reached out his little, brightly colored tentacles, caressed my cheek, and said, "Baby, you worry too much. Put the remote down. Sometimes, you've got to let someone else take over. Let me choose for you. Put your feet up, and let me take care of you."

I sagged with relief and we watched, together, hour after hour of various programs, all of which featured Bobby Flay.

Who is an astonishing douchebag.

Witness -- Throwdown With Bobby Flay.

So, basic premise is thus:

Each show starts with some unsuspecting small town proprietor of a local favorite hangout, which is regionally famous for (insert home cookin' example here).

They pick this person out -- say, the woman in Nashville, Tennessee, who is famous for her buttermilk biscuits with blackberry jam. They tell said lady she's going to be star of a Food Network special about singing in the kitchen. They hire some singers and tape all these segments while she excitedly films her special on Food Network.

In the meantime, Bobby Flay is developing his own version of said specialty -- in this case, biscuits and jam -- and calls in all these consultants and develops some massively ambitious, pretentious, alternative -- in this case, his biscuits had pepper. He didn't like the original fig and strawberry jam, so he created a lemon/orange BLUEBERRY marmalade.

Then BF interrupts the woman while she's demonstrating her stuff. She's all -- BOBBY FLAY!!!


Then makes the woman compete in blind taste tests -- her stuff vs. his. Woman not only now finds out she doesn't have her own show, she finds out that Bobby Flay is swooping in to prove that SHE AIN'T THE BEST, Y'ALL!


In the case of the woman who made the apple pie sunday that he beat, he said, "I was really impressed. I mean, her idea -- it was so obvious. But I didn't think of it."

Why does this douche have so many shows?

Monday, February 11, 2008

We've been friends since 1995 and I just now think of this???

me: annetastic
Anne: fucktastic
me: WHY have I not thought of that before?
I need sleep.
Anne: ha. love it.
it took you 13 years, friend!
that's annetastic!
me: I KNOW

Saturday, February 02, 2008

The Entertainer in my House

The Russians are here.

Well, Misha is Russian. Jennifer is from Indianapolis. But she moved to St. Petersburg after college. In college we called her "Crazy Jen," but now she's "Russian Jen."

Here they are (the two on the left) at a concert:

Anyhoo -- old girl pops back in my life once a year, and we have a fabulous time together. Somehow, my old friend from college is now a national treasure in Russia. How strange.

She has two bands.

JD and the Blenders is her personal pet project. Some kind of Soul gig.

Seeing this video on youtube was a little like the episode of friends where Pheobe has a professional video made. I'm sorry that comparison is so lame. But I couldn't think of a better one. Anne and I were flabbergasted. Jen was horrified: "Look how they focused on my LIPS! WHY DID THEY DOO THAT?"

Us: why are you wearing a wig?
Her: Oh, they made me do that.

Apparently that crazy guy at the end is a very famous rock musician in Russia.

There are tons of these videos on Youtube. National televison appearances, amazing Russian hairstylings.