Friday, September 30, 2005


I am having a seriously attention deficit disorder riddled day, one that produces extensive internet surfing and a sense of general mailase. During today's adventure, I googled "single parent adoption." But, um, not because I have any particular desire to take on the burdens of childcare without a partner, but because sometimes, when you are shopping for onsies for the layettes of pregnant friends who are sure to have the cutiest pudgy toed children who will smell good and giggle, you indulge in wacky fantasies.

But, that's not the point.

The point is this. I found the page from the United States Department of Health and Human Services.

This is the official government resource. Of our government. Online. Like, they wrote it after the invention of the Internet. I cannot believe this stuff. Example paragraph:

The adoption picture has also changed. The number of healthy Caucasian infants
available for adoption has decreased dramatically due to birth control,
legalized abortion, and the decision of unwed mothers to keep their babies.
Therefore, agencies have a shortage of babies to offer couples who are
interested in adoption. Most of the children who are available for adoption are
older or have disabilities. As the adoption agencies struggle to find homes for
these children, single parent applicants have become more widely accepted.

Okay, let's recap:
  1. Whitey has birth control. There are therefore fewer white babies for adoption. Therefore, there is a shortage of babies, period. It's not just that you can't adopt a non-white baby, it's that the government assumes that's not even an option.
  2. Before, when there was a surplus of slutty white teenage mommas who did not have access to birth control, we would not have considered giving one of them to a mutant single person. Times have changed, folks! Now that we have plenty of crippled, non-white non babies, we're looking for somebody, andybody to foist them off onto!

From the Q and A portion, under, "Why would a single person adopt?" (Emphasis in bold mine)

Often a single person finds life incomplete, as one single woman expressed, "I
had a stable job and could give a child many benefits. And I had love that
needed to be given and a need to be needed. I wanted some purpose to my life
other than my work and my cat
." Because many women have pursued careers and put
off marriage and having children until they are older, they find that they have
reached their thirties, without a husband, but with a compelling desire for a
child. Adoption becomes a viable option for single women who feel that having a
child out-of-wedlock is unacceptable or who find that they are infertile.

From here, it goes straight into narratives about lonely single women, and not once mentions men. It also says that you shouldn't adopt a child just because you're lonely. How very condescending. I can accept that it is possible that mainstream culture might be getting sick of the single girl's rants ("When do I get showered for gifts for being me," "I can be complete without a husband," "Pay me as much as you pay your male coworkers, motherfuckers,") but painting a picture of the desperate lonely single gal as part of the informational Q & A is, in my humble opinion, beyond the pale. Anyway, if this woman would just start drinking, she'd maybe find more time for her cat.

Some other choice nuggets:

You may have a good idea of the type of child you are
interested in adopting. Or you may still be open to considering a variety of

the screening process for singles is so exhaustive that only the
most persistent survive

Just as in life, only the most stubborn bastards get a baby. Oh, way. Actually, the screening process for natural birth is nowhere near this discriminating. Apparently, neither is the screening process for government Web copywriters.


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