Friday, February 23, 2007

Call Me Dorothy

Hi, Bitches:

The ten of you (most of whom actually speak to me on a regular basis, go figure) who read this here Web Log have been complaining to me (again, mostly in person) that I haven't posted since my compelling deconstruction of Road House.

That's true. I've been in a serious Transition Period, involving many, many boxes and logistics and dollars, among other things.

Most recently, I spent the last week or so being Jobless and Homeless, as the movers had taken my stuff into the big truck and carted it off. I like to refer to the last week as my regression period, which was spent couch surfing and having night after night of rich Goodbye Dinners, each of which included many glasses of alcoholic beverage and subsequent Sleeping It Off mornings.

I also had one night wherein Ellen came to visit me at Susan's house and we smoked weed and watched tv. And I realized -- I am That Guy -- That Guy who, jobless and homeless, couch surfs and gets high with his buddies in your living room while you're out leading a productive life.

Alas, that segment, the intersticial, responsibility-less segment, is over, and now I am sitting on the floor of my empty new apartment, hijacking some sucker's open wifi, sharing with you the small miracle of my Arrival in San Francisco, AKA The Beginning Of My New Life.

So, the cat? On the plane? She didn't like that. All I have to say is that the roaring of the plane's engine, while probably super stressful for the furball, definitely drowns out her plantive mewling. Which is less "mewling" and more "freaky angry yowling." Mewling just sounds way more charming that that loud, definitively non-human sound old girl makes.

Christine, AKA Fauxnica, brought her perky ass to the airport to pick me up in an electric car, which is incredibly apropos. I had much crap that needed to go, including a cat in a bag.

Then, when we got into the city? Goddamn if there wasn't a RAINBOW. In the sky. Which I captured poorly with my cell phone -- and have posted for posterity here.


Let's just do a quick compare and contrast --

Chicago? Bitch gives me three solid weeks of -19 windchill toe-and-ball freezing weather.

San Francisco? RAINBOW.

Fauxnica, ever the philosopher, had this to say:

Fauxnica: You know what they say about rainbows, don't you?
Me: Pot of gold?
Fauxinca: No, Rainbows are what happens when you mix sun and rain.

Thanks, captian science. Romantic, she is not. Fashionable? Fuck yeah.

So, then we get to the apartment and damn if AnneVan didn't leave me PLANTS in every room, and a liitle Care Package that included that essential home staple, toilet paper.

Damn, life is good.

Hey, guys? Guess what?


Okay, gotta let the movers in. Let the unpacking begin.


Sarah said...

Despite you being a bit negs about Chicago in this entry, AT LEAST YOU WROTE AN ENTRY.
We miss you already, Sugar.

Operative C said...

Whatever, same diff if you live in the Burque... Hopefully this change of venue will bring with it some more inspired writing and ensuing hijinks.

Oh, and mad props for bringing back that "Fauxnica" character. Maybe you should get some other San Fran imaginary friends, like "Cockella", the drag queen that lives upstairs, and "Aidsolio", the homeless guy who gives you life advice every day on your walk to work.

Good luck out there!

P said...

Ha. It was 36 degrees this weekend. AND it snowed, rained, sleeted, and if I were an Eskimo, I would have a lot of other words for the myriad methods the sky either pelted me, soaked me, or landed gracefully on me. Although I alsways did wonder if they really had a 1000 ways of describing snow, seems a little fishy to me. Anyways, you missed a good weathery weekend is all I'm saying- which meant that we all just drank a lot of wine while bundled up in our abodes. and i shoveled once. Love ya. I'm gonna start blogging on your blog dude.

Luc said...

Fuck rainbows. Yet another empty promise from God. While you're bouncing up and down the bay in an electric car, I'll be running over strollers in Lincoln Park on my motorcycle. While drinking nyquil.

Don't let the western mindset usurp your filthy humor.

cw said...

congratulations on getting the worst of it over.
i'm pretty hyped to hear more about you discovering this city. i'm scared to go there.