Monday, November 21, 2005

The Art Of Paranoia

1. Assume everyone is talking about you. Strain to hear them. Pretend you have business by the copier or at your mailbox or at the waterfountain so you can surrepticiously eavesdrop to your colleagues.

2. Be especially suspicious of closed doors. Find reasons to walk past offices with closed doors in order to find out who is behind them. Peer inside, scan faces, imagine reasons the individuals in question could possibly be discussing you. Sweat.

3. Assume They Know. They Know you are writing on your blog right now. They are monitoring your keystrokes and have found ways to intercept your thoughts.

4. You are in deep shit.

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