Sunday, November 20, 2005

Good for What Ails Ya

So, what to do when you've humiliated yourself professionally, when you're feeling about as unattractive as you ever have felt, when you're too lazy or overwhelmed to do the dishes piling up in the sink?

Well, yes, drinking an entire bottle of wine (or two) by yourself is always a good option.

However, I chose to take it to the next level.

The answer, my friends, lies in the contacts menu of your cell phone -- that's right, people, it's time for the old booty call.

Ex boyfriend to the rescue!

I've spent the last 20 or so hours rubbing bodies with the ex, stirring up a host of conveniently distracting emotions, drinking copious amounts of wine, eating crappy delivery pizza, and having bone-shaking (no pun intended) orgasms.

Do I regret it yet?

Nah. Let's wait a few weeks, perhaps tease out some kind of fantasy that we'll get back together -- AGAIN -- perhaps send out a few green tendrils of possibility. Let's be lovers and friends and then we'll set ourselves up for yet another spectacularly devestating breakup. THIS is what I choose.

I choose life.

Unless, god forbid, I end up pregnant. . .

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