Dad: Hey! I've got great news!
Me: Yeah? What's that?
Dad: I got my penis scoped!
Me: WAY too much information.
Dad: My kidneys are healthy!
Me: That's all you had to say, man.
Do I have to let him know before I just have my therapist send all his bills straight to him?
Speaking of my therapist (I usually am), the second memorable quote of the morning was from him, as I was ranting about the inexplicably assholish behavior of one of my clients --
DeeP: So, how's your ass?
Me: (Glancing at ass) Huh?
DeeP: 'Cuz you're getting FUCKED in it.
Me: Thanks. So very clinical of you.
UPDATE:
In unrelated, but related (She's a PSYCHOLOGIST, for Christ's sake!), but seriously AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH news:
In court papers, McMahan denies that he ever had a sexual affair with his daughter. But he doesn't explain how his and Linda's DNA turned up on a vibrator that Linda's husband uncovered in her luggage.
1 comment:
The difference between those quotes can be described in terms of showing someone a steaming pile of shit...
In the first case it's like knocking on someone's door and going, "Hey, look at this!" As you point to the pile in front of the door.
In the second case it's like knocking on the door and going, "Hey, I want to show you something," and then leading them around the corner of the house.
Each situation ends the same: you seeing some shit that you didn't want to see. But the difference is in the telling. There's no wrong way to do it, just different ways.
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