Friday, August 25, 2006

HP Reviews: The Illusionist

The film is a rousing mystery period film, full of . . .okay, no. This film is just arousing.

So, right, this movie is all about Edward Norton sporting some finely tailored suits and shiny, shiny shoes. Lots of dramatically lowered, black-bearded chin, brown laser eyes shooting sexy thousand-mile stares with deadly frequency. Lots of gas firelight throwing dramatic sepia-toned shadows on his sexily-exposed forearms jutting from rolled-up sleeves.

The other thing the movie is about is Jessica Biel, and the best review I can possibly give her is that I did not once think of her as the wayward oldest daughter of a preacher, Mary Camden. Girl looked really gooood.

My movie review of the Illusionist, in ten words: Edward Norton, come down off that screen and date me.

This was also my original review of Fight Club. Of course, Ed and I had a total falling out when I felt like he was being pretentious and long-winded, well, almost always.

But, damn, that man.

I cannot resist him.

He must be magic.


Anonymous said...

You should check out the interview with him on the Treatment on

He's smart too!

Tuffy said...

I was so disappointed when he was dating Salma Hayek. I kept trying to tell myself she must be brighter than she seemed. I understand why no man could be expected to resist her, brainless or no, but it still grated.

Hipster Pit said...

Yes, and he dated Courtney Love before she went from being the edgy outspoken slightly trashy singer to the strung out gutter gal she is today. I have mixed feelings about that, I must say. Ed -- what are you LOOKING for?