First off, "Scientists invent sodomite robot?" EFF YEAH!
Okay, now, some tidbits:
I took a knife skills class last night from a local cooking school. Where you stand around with other yuppies and try out various fabulously sharp, expensive knives and chop things! I chatted pleasantly with some of my fellow class-goers, and was slightly disappointed that no one laughed when I referred to my knife as "A pretty good shank."
They just looked at me blankly and nodded.
I also got overenthusiastic and took a chunk out of my fingernail. The instructor chirped cheerfully, "That's what fingernails are for!"
I had an awkward job interview, pushed on me by an overenthusiastic recruiter. The job was a Power Job. A Director of North American Stuff for a Huge Fortune Five Hundred Company in the Suburbs. That would pay hundreds of thousands of dollars a year.
A job that there is no way in God's sweet heaven I would want, much less really be truly qualified for.
Me to recruiter: Um, yeah, I have heard bad things about the corporate culture at Big Fortune Five Hundred Company.
Recruiter: YOU NEVER KNOW UNTIL YOU TALK TO THEM! IT COULD BE AWWWWESOME!
Me to recruiter: I'm kind of happy where I am.
Recruiter: YOU GOTTA GO FOR THIS IT IS AWESOME!
Did I mention that the recruiter also told me that the hiring manager for this job was going "under the radar" by hiring a recruiter in the first place, because she was "bypassing HR?"
Those who know me know I'm leery, at best, at the prospect of "bypassing hr."
Subsequent phone interview:
Hiring manager: So, what are you doing now?
Me: Well, I work 30 hours a week, I have time to pursue things I love like writing classes and freelance projects and volunteer jobs.
Hiring Manager: So, why are you interviewing for this job?
Good goddamn question. I just had a huge revelation that I don’t have to go after the big fat jobs just because they’re there – in fact, I don’t want to do anything like that at all.
I’m just saying, life is pretty good right now. Wouldn’t want to jinx it by adding stressful, unnecessary opportunities.
So, right! More time to look at robots Online! And watch this video of Dwight crashing his car from The Office on YouTube: