Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Proud Member: The NRA


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Originally uploaded by Rebecca June.
That's right.

This whole week I'm at the NRA show.

Unfortunately, there are no rifles, handguns, ammo, or other deadly weapons (well, unless you count kitchen knives. Which, really, you should. So). It's the National Restaurant Association show, where you can sample cheesecake on a stick, every kind of popper known to man, and even hook yourself up with a shot glass and chaser in one.

It is a massive display of the depth of the restaurant industry -- chafing dishes, gelato, menu covers, lightweight marble substitute, i-can't-believe-it's-not-wood paneling, miles and miles of stuff all designed to make your dining experience that much more spiffy.

Some things I've found immensely charming in the last few days include:
- this poster, which I have blurrily captured with my cell phone camera. In case you are getting a migraine trying to read it, I'll translate. It says "America's Favorite Corn Muffin -- 90% Corn Muffin Share." That means Jiffy? the KING OF CORN MUFFINS. Other corn muffins occupy mere fractions of the corn muffin market, they are edged out by the herculean power of Jiffy. Their booth consists of this poster, a table with many massive boxes of corn muffin mix, and several chairs with tshirts draped over them with snappy slogans such as, "Muffin Doin'" and "Muffin Much" and "Muffin Better!" I just want to go over there and pinch that Jiffy brand on the cheeks! There is muffin more adorable!

- An egg booth, serving eggs, lots of pictures of eggs, signs screaming, EGGS! and a small sign that says, "Eggs. This booth serving eggs. If you are allergic to eggs, do not sample the eggs."

Sound advice, if I've ever heard any.

3 comments:

Mister Buckets said...

If you just ventured less than a mile away, you could sample a new Rwandan coffee, fucking class, the new Walkmen record, and a possible smile by me. You jerk...all my hard hard work and no one wants to see it.

Hipster Pit said...

Buckets, you sweet little coffee guru, you, I am free from the NRA chains as of tomorrow. I am planning on coming over and ooohing and aaaahhhing at that time. Now shut yer trap.

sealegs said...

"edged out by the herculean power of Jiffy"

hahahhahaa

man my dad used to take me to those all the time. he worked for nabisco and would let me wonder around aimlessly collecting complimentary meat thermometers sharp pins with mr. peanut on them.