Sunday, April 09, 2006

Hormones: The liveblog edition.

Yes, I had a boss who made bitchy comments about my period.

Yes, I'm all feminist and insistent that comments like that are complete bullshit, inappropriate and unwarranted.

Yes, I believe that women should never be considered slaves to their hormones, the very idea that we cannot control ourselves in any given situation just because we are women is abhorrent.

Especially when I am totally PMSing, when EVERYTHING IS PISSING ME OFF.

If it isn't pissing me off, it's probably making me cry. Like, "that time of the month" for me means the time of the month when I will inexplicably decide to voluntarily view "Extreme Home Makeover." AND CRY. Well, also, when I'm not crying, be TOTALLY ANNOYED because it's so EFFING CHEESY and also a giant SEARS AD and PS, TY EFFING PENNINGTON, you're SUCH an ASS!

ALSO!

WHY is KERMIT THE EFFING FROG on the show? It's incomprehensible.

Omigod, now that Chase credit card ad is on about the couple who is getting married and having kids and ohmigod I might cry.

Okay, I'm annoyed again, now. WHY DOES TY WEAR A HEMP NECKLACE? Dear Ty:
- are you currently attending college and living in a frat house?
- are you seventeen and a pothead?
- are you on spring break in daytona?

If you anser "no" to the above questions, it is TIME TO REMOVE THE HEMP NECKLACE!

That goes for anyone else who is reading this right now, too. SO HELP ME if I see you in a hemp necklace!

OMIGOD now they're showing teens with some kind of encephaly that leaves them drooling in wheelchairs! They have parents who are grateful for the miracle of life! Okay, tissue time.

PS: This thread on Gawker is great. . .

3 comments:

Jessie said...

You DO say the funniest things, Hipster Pit.

hipsterpitstain said...

oh, please please please keep commenting on gawker!

Suburbia said...

Hmm. I liked Kermit being on that show last night. It was better than listening to Ty. And about hemp necklaces, people past the age of nineteen should not wear it.