You People Are SPOILED

I slack off for one day and everyone's all, "Why don't you update, bitch?"

At least I didn't do something insipid, like post my five favorite snack foods. Honestly, that's probably just because I have such a hard time narrowing things down.

I am feeling a little sluggish and uninspired, and as if I just don't have my own stories to tell today. So, I'll tell someone else's stories!

So, I was talking to my friend, and she was telling me that she was a White House Intern during the Clinton years. Seriously. No, this isn't a joke. Anyhow, the secret service guys would give her a hard time because she apparently had more than a passing resemblance to Monica Lewinsky -- same haircut, few extra pounds -- definitely not as ditzy, though.

She had such a resemblance that people actually came up to her on the street and asked for her autograph. Although I have to say that anyone who would ask for Monica's autograph is clearly just not too bright, anyhow. Or else totally bored.

Well, toward the end of her internship, apparently the secret service arranged for her to have a private meeting with Mr. Clinton. She was totally awed, like, "wow, do they do this for all the interns?"

It quickly became apparent that this was actually just a joke between the president and his jokester secret service agents, as everyone, including Bill, was chuckling evilly. He said, "You must get a lot of jokes, huh?"

She, being the sassy, awesome bitch that she is, said, "Probably not as many as you."

TO THE PRESIDENT.

He cracked up, because he's totally cool like that.

See, good story, right?

But not mine. Cuz I am just feeling plain dope out of stories of my own. So -- send me a story! I'll publish it! On my AWESOME BLOG! Bleh.