Thursday, April 20, 2006

Piss Poor/Poor Piss

You know how, sometimes, if you're working very hard, all absorbed in what you're doing, you may, on ocassion, neglect to pay attention to your body's signals? And, all of a sudden, you're squirming and twitching and bouncing up and down on your chair thinking, WHY AM I SO ANXIOUS ALL OF A SUDDEN? WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT WHAT IS IT -- Oh, right, I have to pee.

So, finally, you get your ass up and go into the bathroom and you have to pee so very urgently you barely have time to close the stall on the bathroom door before you have your pants down and AHHHHHH

And sometimes you pee super hard because there is so much urine in your bladder, and certain industrial toilets have a strange slant to them, and suddenly you might just accidentally have a spray of piss flying out of the bowl between your legs like some sick garden sprinkler?

Well.

Uh, Yeah.

So, I guess that doesn't happen to you, huh?

Well, um, nevermind.

Damn, I shouldn't have told you that, huh?

I was just kidding!

God, you take everything so seriously.

1 comment:

Mister Buckets said...

I have that problem after getting a few beers after work, getting on the train, and then by the time I get home...yikes. Once, walking home in Logan Square, I peed my pants. On Kedzie. Right there. It felt REALLY GOOD. Freedom. Fucking freedom.