Okay, this was posted in the comments a few posts down by Barney Boy, but it deserves everyone's attention, so, I'm reposting.
I read these aloud to Susan and Ellen and we almost hyperventilated.
I hope you will enjoy.
(By the way, the title of this post reminds me of an old job, where I did PR for a company that made maxi pads. I once had to write a memo to my client about how women really hate the term "panties.")