Why are the robots being fake to us?

Maybe because they're planning an uprising.

Thank goodness, now you have the penultimate guide to surviving the inevitable robot rebellion, here.

Some favorite excerpts:

DON'T BOTHER WITH KARATE

Unless you can punch through sheet metal.

And

STAY ALERT

Pay attention to your robotic staff (they may be beneath your contempt as well as beneath your eye level). Watch for the following telltale signs in the days and weeks before your robots run amuck:



Sudden lack of interest in menial labor.
Unexplained disappearances.
Unwillingness to be shut down.
Repetitive 'stabbing' movements.
Constant talk of human killing.